I have been reading and seeing some of the heated discussions over what to say after someone has said: “Thank you.”
“You are welcome.”
I asked my son and wife this question this morning, just to see what type of responses they gave, my wife said “My Pleasure or You’re welcome,”, while my son said “You’re welcome” or “No problem.” My wife looked at me and thinking she knew where I was going with this said “when you say “no problem” you are implying that there was a problem to begin with,” which I asked “do you really think that?”, “no, but I have read that.”
So this is what prompted me to write about this. From an emotional mapping point of view, all of them are correct, but I also don’t know if we all actually use them correctly, or understand the energies behind them. I have read that it is a millennial thing, or at least generational. Where there might be some truth in that, it could be just a shift in our language. Yet as in all things that we say, there is emotional energy attached, and sometimes we are not even aware of what the possibilities are with what we send out and receive.
“You are welcome” acknowledges the gratitude of the “thank you” with acceptance. This is great because having more gratitude in the world would be a WONDERFUL thing. This is a simple equation of balance +1 = +1 (giving gratitude which is a positive energy and welcome acceptance which is also a positive energy)
“My pleasure” acknowledges the gratitude with a reply of not acceptance, but of acknowledgment of what that person got out of the transaction too. This is where all the different ways that we broadcast come into play too, to find truthfulness in that statement. If we don’t show true signs pleasure it might be downgraded to just acceptance. The math on this works this way, the “ Thank you” is a +1 of gratitude, and the “My Pleasure” starts as a +1 or acknowledgment, but with the added benefit that really shows that you are REALLY happy to have helped you can add another one to the equation +1 < +2 which would leaves a gap which is quickly filled by the original person saying “thank you” to feel joy for making the other person happy, so the equation finishes at a +2 = +2 (with the default if the “feelings” aren’t there, just the language, you still have a +1 = +1). This is why many companies have actually mandated that their employees say “my pleasure” because the default is still positive outcome, but there is a percentage of time that the outcome of positive energy will be better.
“No problem” is an interesting one, and I don’t think it denotes that there might have been a problem to begin with, but is a show of compassion which is also a positive energy. I believe generationally that we may have had a world where compassion was lacking and the new generation is adding more compassion into the world to create that equilibrium again. This is why it has become a language change. “No problem” is meant to denote that the act that was triggering the gratitude fell inline with what the person thought was right and positive in the first place. There is NOTHING wrong with this, it is evidence that people are happy to do the right thing.
The long-term effects of this are what troubles me and makes me suspicious of the language change. Where “Thank you” is a Gratitude/Gratitude equation and “My pleasure” is a Gratitude/Gratitude + Joy/Joy equation, “No Problem” is a Gratitude/Compassion equation.
We could argue that just by saying “No Problem” that an acceptance of gratitude is implied and I think that it is - but the word “NO” has its own limiting properties, and it comes first, so there a quantifiable reduction in energy by starting a sentence with “no.” The word problem is also somewhat negative, so when together (negative plus a negative equals a positive) we have complicated the exchange. The Gratitude is also not being recognized so possibly we could be training people not to say “Thank you” by responding with “No problem” even though it is a balanced equation like the above +1 = +1.
As you can see all of them are positive and balanced and the compassion element of “no problem” is what the world needs, I think professionally if we are looking to actually create more positive energy in the world, we should strive to use statements like “my pleasure” and actually show that it was a pleasure to serve.
John "Z" Zeydel - Your PUSH Coach - adding Gradituted to your day.